Featured photo credit.
Lately I’ve been looking up movies from my formative years–Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, anyone?–and feeling nostalgic about…well, about how bad we all looked during all of the 80’s and most of the 90’s. Here’s a compilation of my most hated trends from this sad period in sartorial history.
You bought a t-shirt five sizes too big. Why did you do this? Who knows? But instead of wearing something that fits properly, why not just pull that extra fabric off to the side and secure with a hideous neon-hued plastic buckle? Makes sense.
I have fond memories of scrunchies. Buying them in all different colors and patterns, then losing most of them and wearing the same blue, faded, sad scrunchie day in and day out. It’s hard to pinpoint what exactly is tacky about these little powderpuffs–maybe the way they overwhelm the hair? The gross fabrics they tend to be made out of? Or that they’re so dated you can’t help but cringe when you see old photographs of yourself with a pink crushed velvet scrunchie perched on top of your hair.
When skinny pants first emerged on the scene five or six years ago, I thought, oh great, I remember this trend and no one looked good in it. That’s because I was thinking of pegged pants, not skinny pants. Pegged pants were the regular, ill-fitting pants of the 80’s that we then rolled (or pegged) at the ankle and tucked into socks. The result? Baggy thighs which accentuated the biggest part of the leg, and skinny calves, which accentuated the smallest part of the leg. Not flattering.
In the movies from the 80’s and early 90’s that I’ve been watching lately, it looks like the actresses washed and blow dried their hair four or five times in a row to get it as dry and brittle as possible. Now, I like a bit of volume in my hair, but if passerby wonder about your do’s ability to defy gravity…it might be too much.
You know how you love having other people know when you’re getting nervous and overheating and getting hot, sweaty pits? No? Then WHY ARE YOU WEARING A SHIRT THAT REVEALS ALL THAT INFORMATION?
The issue with so many bad trends from the 80s and 90s is that they aren’t flattering to anyone’s body. Take overalls. A baggy one-piece that hides the waist, accentuates the widest part of the hip, and makes the shoulders look narrower. Bodies look dumpier and frumpier in such frocks. Not the goal of fashion.
Blazers can be really cute and flattering, as the latest incarnation of this trend has shown. But back in the day, women’s blazers were cut like the men’s versions–oversized, big shoulders, baggy at the waist. Women and men don’t have the same bodies! You can’t put the same type of clothing on them.
Chunky black shoes plus visible white socks–remember that trend? I remember wearing mine with a long peasant skirt and the socks were ankle length, so that made it seem alright. Oh dear.
So how’d I do? What embarrassing trends are lurking in your photo albums and yearbooks?